Bakudo - Bizarre Symptoms
A song that pieces together a soul with no diagnosis and no name through a string of 'illness labels' — in a world where every symptom has a tag, only 'my condition' cannot be found.
Creative Background
"The fifth work in the 'Bakudo' series. The lyrics use a sardonic, matter-of-fact approach to list the named mental illnesses of modern psychiatry, only to reveal at the end how the protagonist cannot be categorized by any label. This is not performed suffering — it is a genuine state of being lost. In a world full of names, there is simply no name for what I am."
Lyrics
食べて吐けば 拒食症
Eat and purge — anorexia
起きられなきゃ うつ症状
Can't get up — depression
息ができず パニック症
Can't breathe — panic disorder
泣いて笑えば 躁うつ症
Crying and laughing — bipolar disorder
起きられなくて ベッドで吐いて
Can't get up, throwing up in bed
泣いて笑って 息もできない
Crying, laughing, can't even breathe
それは一体 何て言うの？
What on earth do you call that?
へんてこ へんてこ
Strange, strange
へんてこ へんてこ
Strange, strange
食べ続ければ 過食症
Keep eating — binge eating disorder
何もかも怖い 不安症
Scared of everything — anxiety disorder
疑いすぎて 偏執症
Too suspicious — paranoid disorder
人が怖くて 対人症
Scared of people — social anxiety
自分が誰かも わからなくて
Not even knowing who I am
消えたり戻ったり 揺れてるまま
Dissolving and returning, swaying still
それは一体 何て言うの？
What on earth do you call that?
ひそひそ ひそひそ
Whispers, whispers
ひそひそ ひそひそ
Whispers, whispers
ひそひそ ひそひそ
Whispers, whispers
ああ いいよね
Ah, how nice
みんな名前がついてる
Everyone has a name
薬袋の文字も
Even the words on the medicine bag
ちゃんとして見える
Look so proper and official
なのにどうして
And yet, why
どうしてなの……
Why is it……
どこにもないんだ
Nowhere to be found
僕の症は
My condition
もしかして……
Could it be……
奇形怪症の楽園で
In the paradise of bizarre symptoms
みんな一緒に騒いでる
Everyone is making noise together
奇形怪症の温床で
In the breeding ground of bizarre symptoms
みんな一緒に踊ってる
Everyone is dancing together
奇形怪症の深淵で
In the abyss of bizarre symptoms
みんな一緒に落ちていく
Everyone is falling together
奇形怪症の天国で
In the heaven of bizarre symptoms
みんな一緒に浮かんでる
Everyone is drifting together
眠れないまま 不眠症
Still can't sleep — insomnia
急に涙が 情緒症
Sudden tears — emotional dysregulation
音が刺さる 過敏症
Sounds pierce through — hypersensitivity
何も感じない 無感症
Feeling nothing — emotional numbness
眠れないまま 朝を迎えて
Unable to sleep, the morning arrives
泣いても笑っても 何も動かない
Whether crying or laughing, nothing moves
それは一体 何て言うの？
What on earth do you call that?
へんてこ へんてこ
Strange, strange
へんてこ へんてこ
Strange, strange
へんてこ へんてこ
Strange, strange
同じことだけ 反復症
Only the same thing — repetitive behavior
止められなくて 強迫症
Can't stop — OCD
急に遠くなる 解離症
Suddenly distant — dissociative disorder
全部嘘みたい 現実症
Everything feels like a lie — derealization
それでもまだ
And yet still
名前がないまま
Without a name
ひそひそ ひそひそ
Whispers, whispers
ひそひそ ひそひそ
Whispers, whispers
ひそひそ ひそひそ
Whispers, whispers
ああ いいよね
Ah, how nice
みんな名前がついてる
Everyone has a name
薬袋の文字も
Even the words on the medicine bag
ちゃんとして見える
Look so proper and official
なのにどうして
And yet, why
どうしてなの……
Why is it……
探してもまだ
Even searching, still
僕の症はない
My condition does not exist
もしかして……
Could it be……
奇形怪症の楽園で
In the paradise of bizarre symptoms
みんな一緒に騒いでる
Everyone is making noise together
奇形怪症の温床で
In the breeding ground of bizarre symptoms
みんな一緒に踊ってる
Everyone is dancing together
奇形怪症の深淵で
In the abyss of bizarre symptoms
みんな一緒に落ちていく
Everyone is falling together
奇形怪症の天国で
In the heaven of bizarre symptoms
みんな一緒に浮かんでる
Everyone is drifting together
奇形怪症の楽園に
Within the paradise of bizarre symptoms
名前のない影ひとつ
One nameless shadow
奇形怪症の温床に
Within the breeding ground of bizarre symptoms
標本にもなれないまま
Unable to even become a specimen
奇形怪症の深淵で
In the abyss of bizarre symptoms
静かに形をなくして
Quietly losing all form
奇形怪症の天国で
In the heaven of bizarre symptoms
呼ばれることもないまま
Never to be called by name